In the second part of “The Road to Serfdom” Quentin reports on attempts by electricity providers to improve service.  Here is “Granny Baiting”

By Quentin Cockburn
So, the trickle became a tide, and in no time at all, the general public, who resent having to take it up the choof, began, (for those who could afford it) to install solar energy.  Solar went mental, and all of a sudden, those electricity companies, who bought power from the electricity generating companies, started getting worried.  Demand was falling.  And without a bit of direct lobbying to the man of action, our PM Tony Abbot, the entire system would be in a mess.  Not for you the public but the shareholders!  Get It!

So Tone knocks all the renewables for six!  As an industry, they’ve gone the way of slavery. But get this?  The public are still switching to solar, and why?  Because the public have a sneaking suspicion, that although current electricity prices are usurious, before long they will be injurious.  Only those wealthy enough to not pay tax, or the hopelessly overambitious will be able to afford electricity.  And so the electricity providers developed another strategy.. Granny Baiting..

It’s very simple…

You see all these electricity providers, who buy the stuff off the power companies, also pay rent to the pole and wire providers.  (You can see this all leads to greater efficiency.  We now have three tiers when once there were one, and just think of all the middle managers, office parties, bonuses etc.. But I stray.)  They began to discover that the public were getting narky about paying for all the glossy advertising, and offers, special offers and discounts when they only wanted electricity.  You see electricity aint that sexy, no matter how you dress it up, (but I do know that modern vibrators come with standard DC and AC power adaptors, are re-chargeable, and sell the ’tickler’ and ‘womb broom’ in the one discrete package,) but, again, I digress.  They discovered that the public were always switching from one provider to the another in search of the best deals, and the phones were running hot.  Not to mention the door the door sales teams, invariably Indians, (well spoken) thrashing the streets of Melbourne desparate to sign up new customers..

Now ‘grannying’ is akin to Gogol’s Lost Souls, or Christopher Pyne’s death tax on dead students.  Grannies are pliant, subservient, and they want to be nice.  Grannies find it very difficult, (unless it’s Rolf Harris or Christopher Pyne) to say NO!.  In no time flat one granny I know had four service providers all charging the same, (with quality discounts and competitive charges) and it took an awful lot of getting it sorted.  That was six months ago..

I Thought the problem had gone, despatched, a commercial misunderstanding.  No!  They were back again.  last week I had to inform People Energy, Simply Energy, Lumo and Clix, that only one of them could provide electricity to my mum.  I asked them; ‘so did she agree to all of this’? They all replied coyly, words to the effect of ‘we pointed to the substantial benefits’, etc,etc. ‘Uh Huh’, I yawned, and ‘did she sign you up’?.. ‘Yesir’, the robotic reply, ‘Well then did any of you check with the other service provider?’  ‘No’..

Well then we’ve just paid the last installment of four electricity bills. Got it down to one now, and think I’d better keep a lookout, this privatisation stuff is heady.  Great for the shareholders, pure shit for the public!

Though I would add the very nice call centre operative from India spoke excellent english, but sadly each time I offered the phone to my mum to validate certain privacy provisions, the conversation  ended abruptly, with, “I cannot understand a word this fellow is saying” shades of Little Britain, we should all be beside ourselves!!

I provide copies of the invoices, it’s remarkable reading.