Only in America.

Dear reader, at last some progress on the marriage plebiscite front. The new Turnbull government is locked in. And just to demonstrate how progressive, accountable and active our new government is, they’re getting down to the serious work of doing something about this vexed issue. That’s what we’ve come to expect from a Turnbull government. Action!

Fifi and Trixi-belle are to be married.

Since Malcolm became leader, that’s the singularity that separates him from other federal governments, ACTION!! The P.M has promised us ‘perhaps before the end of the year’ and equivocated just slightly with ‘next year would be more likely’. Demonstrating real leadership and a departure from the conservative ranks within his party. His determination to give the people of Australia, (60 % polled would like change) the plebiscite demonstrates LEADERSHIP. Of course we know the plebiscite is not binding, because there’s an unproven though clearly stated opinion from the Bernardii corner, that dog marriage seems likely. Dog marriage is not an option for those already in the dog house and it’s highly unlikely that dogs will be registered to vote. Importantly we as the electorate can look forward to a year, at the very least of considered open debate on same sex marriage. We only need to look at climate change to see how far we’ve progressed on the greatest existential threat of our time.

The man who mistook his CEO for a King Charles Spaniel.

Though 95% of scientists not on the bankroll of major fossil fuel companies attest to the reality of climate change, the other five percent, will be given full voice via the twin turbo charging of ministers Canavan and Frydenberg. We may expect more challenging and insightful comment as the climate science escalates the threat, and are gladdened to the very core that the departing science minister Mr Greg Hunt, (voted in Dubai as the worlds best minister) proclaimed ‘his job is done’. And he’s quite right, the ecosystem that sustains this planet is tilting into oblivion, and he’s ensured that nothing has been done to harm serious vested interests from fossil fuels and mining. Job well done. Perhaps like Joe Hockey (killer of manufacturing), he’ll get a diplomatic posting, somewhere nice, endorsed doubtlessly by Rupert.

Where it all went wrong. The Arnolfini wedding. Trixi-belle lower centre.

But back to the basics we can expect a very fair and reasoned debate on gay marriage in the lead up to the plebiscite, and then, after the rather expensive and worthwhile public discussion on gay-dom which may even make the existential threat of terrorism off the front page, we’ll get a determination. A determination to do nothing, or block any legislation in the upper house. This is democracy at work, and demonstrates the leadership you get from the Turnbull government on the big issues. And their big because Malcolm likes it that way. All the other sideshow issues, equity, public assets, tax reform, negative gearing, superannuation tax breaks to the uber wealthy, funding cuts to science education and healthcare are just not important enough. Listen to the Property Council, if you want stability, don’t rock the boat. Steady as she goes. Reform is dangerous, and as George Christiansen rightly says, the emphasis should be in defence, fear, and punishment for those who would dare question this orthodoxy.

Who by his definition must be either Gay or Muslim.

Just as well then that Dogs cant vote.