ONYA JOHNNO! WE FUCKEN HATE KOALA’S ALSO!
A letter to the environment
WE at pcbycp are thrilled the Federal Government is winding back environment laws.
Which proves Covid aint all bad.
John, telling Koalas to get the last train outta Canberra, before he closes down the rail line.
We applaud John Barillaro seeking relevance in wanting to Kill more Koalas. WE HATE, loathe and detest Koalas.
Where they on the beach at Gallipoli? Helping defend us at the last stand at Singapore? In Darwin when we were bombed? In Vietnam? The 2010 grand final when St Kilda rallied and then LOST?
Helping us to stem corona, or the evil nefarious insidious threat of Sino-Soviet cyber espionage?
John is spot on. We’ve had it up to here with Koalas and applaud the Coal Party (the Nationals) in defending the rights of farmers and big business agricultural conglomerates. In clearing land and destroying Koala habitat. Cos at the end of the day Koalas have done us NO GOOD!
From our perspective, we have an axe to grind.
It all gets back to an event way back in the 70’s
DEAD KOALAS! We can’t kill the little buggers FAST ENOUGH! They stand in the way of PROGRESS! And they make our roads UN-SAFE!
Because of our barbecue.
It all began some twelve years ago at the Grand Final barbecue. A per the tradition, we invited over our friends from the IPA. Gerard Henderson always have us enthralled with some of his jokes about Cardinal Pell, and his descriptions of life as a choir boy in the 50’s would make your hair curl. We get together over beers and snags and talk footy. In those far off days we used to do things that were frowned upon by people these days. There was the wet t shirt comp, dwarf tossing, and the iron man comp. The iron man comp was to see who could still stand after consuming a dozen beers, warm pies, and run a full length of the Burvale carpark without spewing. We always won. Those blokes in the IPA just couldn’t hack it.
Lefty pinko wanker. Trying to save a KOALA that’s better off DEAD!
One day we invited our mates from the IPA and we’d run outta wood for the barby. Hanging over the barby was an old gum tree. It was a ‘widow-maker’. In a flash we chopped it down. It was only after it hit the deck with a crash that we noticed that a family of Koalas was living in it.
Cec did the noble thing and banged em over the head with a spade. ‘Put em out of their misery’. Bit like homeless people, ‘they’re better off dead’.
Anyway, we chopped it up and all of a sudden the environment bloke from the Council turned up and fined us for knocking down the “Heritage Tree” . He reckons it was a scar-tree left by local abos before we’d wiped em out. Said it had cultural value. WE sent him packing; ‘So is our barby you fucken pinko lefty wanker”.
Michaela joins St Tone for trade talks with the poms on why there should be no KOALA CLAUSE!
“Heritage me balls’! We said and threw a full box of empty stubbies at him. No sooner had we got back to drinking when the cops turned up and charged us with assault.
By this stage we were rope-able. We told em, ‘aint you got any crims to catch’? And they booked us.
Michaela goes APE-SHIT over KOALAS. That’s why she’s rolling back pinko lefty environment laws.
Since then we HATE Koalas.
Which is why we’re in lock step with the IPA and FEDS in watering down environment laws.
The way we see it, if we don’t stand with like minded people like John Barillaro it’ll be the end of the Australian way. Its bad enough with police patrolling the streets looking for people sitting on the nature strip and reading a book, but Koalas are not gonna have it over us. And besides there’s zoos and enclosures they can live quite happily, and not get in the way of PROGRESS!
If there’s a buck to be made outta repealing environment laws,(clearing native grasslands and Koalas, filthy coal and draining the Murray, all roads lead to our mate ANGUS. ONYA ANGUS! As Angus is oft heard to say: ” Whadya Say man….Go CAYMAN’! (When Angus is not busy diverting taxpayer funds to his myriad business investments he sprukes as a part time rep for ‘Advanced Hair Studios’ (Reg. Cayman Is.)
AND…… just I case you aint being paying attention….. A GAS LED RECOVERY!