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Dear reader, we at pcbycp are shocked and deeply disturbed by some of the well-crafted insults thrown at us by senior tiers of the Chinese Communist party. In this latest series of pan Sino-Australian invective we recoil and wince in visible pain to the breadth and creativity of well crafted words and worry that we may have gone to far in asking the party to offer some sort of explantation for closing down the worlds economy. Though we bewail the cost and the break it’s put on our singular cultural pursuit, (shopping and real estate) we see the silver lining. It’s given us clear skies, and for some amongst us renewed pleasure in knowing that there’s no place like home.
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At breakfast we absorb with utter devotion every detail of the “People’s Daily”, and the “ Global Times” (possibly more factually rigorous than either “The Truth” or “Pravda”) and enthral to the efforts of the Yang-Dung workers collective and their increase in annual production of manure spreading on the Dai-shan Agricultural Enterprise. From our great distance, we sigh and wish that we too could be part of this wonderful enterprise and witness first- hand the inspired leadership of the Communist Party. Led by selfless leaders who at no personal gain to themselves guide the Peoples Republic to a glorious future. Sadly as far as we got “The Glorous Julie Bishop Foundation” was quashed by anti Chinese hysteria and like the Hong Kong Bookseller, never had a chance.
Recognition of greatness and leadership
But seriously we are disturbed by the ignorance shown by the Australian Government into the true meaning of alleged insults hurled across the Pacific. Who dont understand the very real threat of crippling sanctions in our brazen and ungrateful attempts to ask the reason why.
To describe Australia as “the chewing gum stuck on the sole of ones shoe” has been taken as a perjorative and derogatory reference by senior levels of the Australian government. “Sometimes you need a hard rock to scrape it off”, was seen as equally offensive, suggesting that like chewing gum we could be compared to other viscous, and adhering material found on the pavement. The mind boggles.
Sadly, not all rejoice in LEADERSHIP!
The respected “Peoples Daily” and ‘Global Times” have described the Australian Governments call for an enquiry and subsequent adoption of an EU resolution as ‘a joke’, and other common colloquial expressions such as “Wonton short of a Uighur”, “Up the collectives manure spreader without a brush” and “Two Wongs wont make it white” have become common currency in the Middle Kingdom. The question is should Australia make a stand? And what insult should we hurl back?
May we suggest it’s all a misunderstanding
Our leader, (man on the left)
In Mandarin, Chewing gum, (currency amongst the politburo elite) was once highly prized. More prized than ground Rhino-horn, Coelocanth testicle and Pangolin brain extract. To “wipe the chewing gum off ones boot” was considered a sign of indolent luxury. The anthem of the Chiang-jy workers collective, “ Oh that we be chewing gum” is still sung by older party members who still sock away the odd stick of Wrigleys left by American troops in support of Chiang Ki Shek. A talisman of the glory days. When one stick could bribe a party official or sway a war lord. “To scrape ones boot”, as described by the communist poet Weng shu fang, (before his execution during the Cultural Revolution) is to understand the beauty of collective farms and arbitrary arrest.
Outstanding Australian Journalism, sadly is a thing of the past.
The Australian Government needs to be more nuanced in its approach. Rather than recoil in shock and horror and apologise for suggesting any level of enquiry we should see these insults for what they are, recognition by the ‘other superpower’ that we are worthy. In Uighurstan they dont even bother with the insults they just round em up and kill em. It’s been a plank of Australian indigenous policy for several centuries. Why should we complain when it’s directed at us? Better to understand than be understood. And in the end, they’re bigger than us, and by rights to our other great ally we should always apologise when in doubt. And recognise our status as a quarry and a repository for well directed bribes.
We shoud be so lucky.
The lucky country.