Olivia and Errol between horses in “Charge of the Light Brigade”
Dear reader, we pause from the cut and thrust of social commentary to share with you the deep loss at Olivia de Havillands passing. ‘Olivia’? , you may say? Yes indeed, “Olivia’, we may say in return.
Olivia de Havilland, a house-hold name, that’s not quite a house-hold name any more, but in our office, the walls are festooned with posters of Olivia. Festooned because she was a HOLLYWOOD LEGEND!!!!.
It’s been said that she single-handedly broke the Hollywood monopoly on actors contracts, and freed successive generations so that they could negotiate an enterprise bargaining agreement with the likes of Harvey Weinstein. If she hadn’t trod the boards NONE OF THIS WOULD’VE EVER HAPPENED!!
Errol and Olivia in “Captain BLOOD”, took on a HUGE RISK in introducing Cricket to the West Indies.
But as you may ask. ‘What did Olivia really stand for’?
Well, if you listen, we’ll tell you
Firstly, and this is the most important part, Olivia stood by ERROL!
If you say; ‘Who the eff was Errol’? We’ll send the full force of Fed Police onto you and bang you inside before you can say ‘Witness K’!
Saving England from Privatisation.
Errol was a Bloody LEGEND!
At one time the highest paid actor in Hollywood. And rightly so, cos he was a ratbag, a shagger a piss-pot and a druggie. He was also charismatic, devilishly handsome, possessed of wit, humour, intelligence and a capacity for self-destruction not seen since ‘Johnny’ married ‘Amber’. and “if it was vice”, it had Errol in it. And if you don’t believe us, read his thoroughly readable, “ My Wicked Wicked Ways’. Before ‘fake news’ his story was pure FACT. And a template for aspiring actors the world over.
But Errol and Olivia did more than this.
Maid Marian and Sir Robin.
Their first great act in saving humanity from itself was when they defended the realm for King Richard as Robin of Locksley and Maid Marian.
In 1143 they stood alone against the evil KING JOHN. Not the bloke who runs Nth Korea, That’s King ill (as in ‘I’m gonna be sick’) JOHNG. And standing right beside King John, a man more cunning and more hell-bent on self-fulfillment than Trump, Xi, Putin, the whole bloody lot of em, Sir Guy of Gisborne. More menacing than Lord Rupert of Murdoch and Saint Tone of Sanatamaria put together…..Errol and Olivia singlehandeldy put them to the scrap heap so that England could be free from tyranny until Boris corporatised what was left of the National Health.
In “They Died with their Boots On”, Errol and Olivia as Mr and Mrs General George Custer defeated the injuns, so the west could be free for real state, venture capitalism and railroads.
In “Charge of the Light Brigade”, Errol and Olivia gave the Russians a bloody nose, and if you saw the film you’d be convinced that we won that war also.
On set
In “Captain Blood”, Errol and Olivia, defeated the scourge of nasty slave-owners to become nice slave-owners themselves and make the West Indies a truly great place for rum and cricket.
In ‘Santa Fe Trail’, they helped Ronald Regan clear the west of injuns so that simple folk could get their necks truly reddened. They did all of this so that they could save us from ourselves…
And in the only film Errol and Olivia didn’t partner in; “Gone with the Wind”, Olivia stood alone as the true custodian of Southern honour. Yes indeed as the filthy yankees laid waste to the south and besmirched southern honour, Olivia stood firm! And together with Leslie Howard showed the way to a bright and prosperous future of segregation, bigotry and provincialism. Something that has inspired Queenslanders (a non-offical part of the South) FOR EVER!
Before Olivia changed Hollywood, contractural disputes could be dangerous.
So she’s Gorne. That’s the end of ‘ol Hollywood’.
Roll on the Kardashians,
Which leaves only one question….
Could she have been President?