Dear reader, we’re deeply confused here at pcbycp headquarters. Not only are we still stuck here in this cell in the middle of Port Moresby, but our native runner, has pissed off to commemorate Robert Mugabe’s death. As the pre- Brexit Prince Andrew glumly put it, ‘ ‘hard to get the right sort of native these days’. 

True Liberals celebrate the “correct” use of fund raising and poetry.

We’re doubly confused that Gladys Liu hasn’t come to our rescue, and implore all the members of  the Chisholm Liberal fund raising arm whom we paid quite handsomely in promissory notes co-signed by His Royal Highness Prince Andrew, to come to our aid. Whichever way you look at it legal tender  signed by his Royal Highness will open doors anywhere. 

So in a pan Sino – Australian friendship gesture to whoever it is that is ultimately responsible for sending those rivers of gold Glady’s way, and seal it with a handshake and a G day, we thought it timely, in a historical sense to give you this one from Ogden Nash. He was also puzzled by Sino American relations prior to the  introduction of the 38th Parrallel

Maurice Sendak’s original illustration to Ogden’s Poem.

His ditty is entitled, “So I resigned from the Chu Chin Chowder and Marching Club”. We in sympathy tried to resign from the Higgins 500 Club, but discovered to our distaste, that as we were already signed up members of the United Front Work Department, (we had no idea we were part of this august institution)  our organs had already been auctioned off, and proceeeds were to be delivered to Uighurstan for processing just as soon as the paperwork had been completed. 

So courageoulsy we’ve decided to stay. 

We stayed for one other important reason, to ensure after a sensible suggestion made to us from Glady’s fund raising arm.  That the Liberal Party heraldry be replaced from Royal Blue to a more Middle Kingdom DEEP RED. To symbolise truly the benefits of ensuring funding to keep the germ of democracy alive…. For the right price to lobbysists, and the powers invested by the people to  Real Estate Agents; the traditional owners……(cross out Tibet, Uighurstan, and Hong Kong), Insert.  (Australia);. Of this land. 

So I resigned from the Chu Chin  Chowder and Marching Club.

The thing which I know least
Is the inscrutable East. 
Neither is my ignorance immutable, 
I find that every hour the East grows more inscrutable.
Day by day
I memorise pithy witticisms beginning ‘Confucious say”
I retire to leafy bowers
And immerse myself in Kai-Lung’s Golden Hours
In the evening I beat assiduously on a gong,
Picking out “ Slow Boat to China” and “ Why did I tell you I was going to Shanghai?’ And “ ‘Chong he come from Hong Kong’.
In a valiant effort the inscrutable Oriental mind to explore
I have lost a fortune at mah-jongg to an inscrutable
Pekingese puppy who lives next door,
All to no avail;
Scrutably speaking, I am beyond the pale.
I have only one accomplishment about which I would write home to Mother:
I can tell at least one Celestial from at least one other;
I can tell you, for a modest price, 
The difference between a mandarin waving his hat over a prostrate palanquin bearer 
and a mandarin sitting on a cake of ice.
Do you want to know, really and truly?

Well, the first mandarin is fanning his coolie.

Scott instructing Gladys on the finer points of fund-raising.