Latest from the U.K.

A scene from “Carry on Governing”, Crumbs! That’s torn it! Nanny will be really cross!

At last some common sense from Downing Street. The P.M in waiting Boris Shaggy, ‘love-able’, Johnson has reminded us all that we can return to the dear old ‘white colonies’ for sustenance. Imagine a future, a globe held together once again by the crimson thread of kinship, the familiar crack of ball on willow, and from every cathedral and chapel in every town the bells will ring out; ‘Praise Britannia, saved from the peril of Europe’. Just think even the little bits of South Africa not quite ‘coloured in’ will still get a chance to be in it!!

And from here at home

This week marks the dawn of a new era, and it is almost confirmed the rumour, (vigorously denied by the P.M in waiting Mr Tony Abbott) that Prince Charles shall be spending his twilight years as the next Governor General of Australia.

Without the economic inhibitors of a car industry, research and education debased to nothing much more than a processing factory, there’s a bright future for the manufacturing of new uniforms. And uniforms require medals. And who better than a real Prince to pin those medals on proud chests. And besides the other prince is dead.

pcbycp offering free Empire Strikes Back wall map for each reader who can correctly recite the names of all the former colonies and can successfully remember what it was all for.

The Empire Calls

Thats where the age old competition emerges. Right across the green and pleasant isle, people are awakening to the potentialities of leaving the corrupt, oligarchic European Union. Farage’s new dawn is positively blinding. Agricultural labourers, Industrial labourers, labourers labourers, will no longer be short-changed by Poles and Bolts. Now those Bolts and Poles wont have a bolt hole to go to. Not on our watch. Jobs will be filled by local peasantry. They voted for it. Now they can wear it! Working not for wages, ‘that’s so twentieth century’, but, for a roof over their head. In factories and warehouses, workers indentured to the new ‘Pathways to Prosperity”, ( Boris’s new initiative since selling off the NHS to Halliburton) will be working to ensure Britain becomes once again a powerhouse for manufacturing. And the people who own these factories have promised to leave aside at least, one percent for community development, and another one per cent (after profit) for  workers funerals.

It’s a challenge to the other leaders in the commonwealth. Are we up to it? The poms have once again pipped us at the worlds premier sporting event, The Commonwealth Games. Without so much as a bye your leave they’ve stolen the march by introducing five new events into the crammed games calendar. The host of the next Commonwealth games extravaganza, Lesotho is awhoop with excitement, and as we speak hordes of natives are laboriously doing what took the Brazillians years to not achieve, a full olympic stadia and concourse with pick and hand adze. Literally crafting their future with bare hands. A spirit of enterprise not seen since the days of Isembard Kingdom Brunel. And why might you ask? Because they’re working on this monumental nation building project on a mere one shilling a week. Evidence true of the trickle down effect.

Our medal tally is at stake. our skills base is deficient, Still there’s hope. Now that all scientific, postgraduate, and tertiary research finding has been diverted to the AIS. Within a couple of years to go we should be competitive in ‘Synchronised Morris Dancing’, the ‘Black Pudding toss’, ‘Hide the soap’, ‘Milk’s off dear’ and ‘Sustained Whinge’.

And we seek to balance the odds in our favour.

‘Either Conquer or Die’, howsabout just leave the E.U for starters?

Right now our government is lobbying the Commonwealth games committee to see if Roo shooting, Bigotry, Species Extinction, Broadcaster mysoginy and homophobia can get a guernsey. We’ve gotta concentrate on our natural strengths, and in sport, you can’t let the opposition get the jump on you. Glad to hear they’re also teaching proper history of how we made the empire at school and ditched all that black armband nonsense, and the benefits it give us to this day, benefits that some take for granted.

What did Baden Powell say, Be Prepared”!. And that we most surely are. We’ve been waiting all our lives.