The corporate receivers begin the laborious task of assessing the worth of Arriane steel, and Australian manufacturing. Note “Ideas Boom” Helmets, specifically designed by the Innovation Minister Mr Christopher Pyne, from his personal collection.
Another dull week passes and sadly not much yet of intelligence shining through as a consequence of the ‘Ideas Boom’. The collapse of steel manufacturing may have had something to do with the collapse of the car industry, and our uncompetitiveness in comparison to other places where the steel workers work for free, but there’s hope that a generous spirit in the banking sector may yet save the day. They’ve been busy telling us their practices are on the level, and the P.M Mr Malcolm Abbott is inclined to agree. It’s all business as usual really, and as Australia is emphatically “open for business” the last thing we require is an enquiry, (worse still a Royal Commission) into shonky banking practices. A few rotten apples shouldn’t shake our trust in the system, and as the P.M knows there’s still a lot of capital to be gained by selling off state assets, before the housing boom, the banking boom and the Ideas boom go ‘Pop’!
Intelligence V Wisdom. Former P.M demonstrates his possession of the latter to the U.N general Assembly.
Foghorn, (K.Rudd mentor) instructs Junior. ( any resemblance of Junior to former P.M K. Rudd is entirely incidental, fictional and objectionable. )
On a happier note, and this should be a source of much rejoicing, the former P.M Mr. Kevin Rudd, may not be the the next United Nations Secretary General. Helen Clark may pip him at the post. Good on Helen! As we all know the United Nations, (not to be confused with the League of Nations) has done a hell of a lot of good by showing leadership lately on the singular issues that really matter. Trouble is, no one seems to take any notice. Still, like Kevin, it keeps us all up to the mark on how the objectionable, the obnoxious, the perpetually unemployable, the discarded, and the excerable, can find a sinecure paid for by a conglomerate of bored nation state participants and establish a life long residency in New York, The Hague, Paris, London, anywhere. We wish him well, and glad that he’s the rest of the world’s responsibility and they too will know what it’s like to live with another ‘ambitious little Queenslander’.
A “nicer type” of Volvo driver.
Speaking of smug, insulated, and self important, the latest survey from Wheel magazine delivers some startling news. After an exhaustive, thorough, and far reaching psycho-metric analysis sourced from drivers around the world, the truth is out!! And what’s the truth? The revelation, proven at last, that Subaru Forester drivers are indeed the inheritors of the Volvo-driver mantle. In the 70’s Volvo drivers became renowned the world over as the most annoying, self important, cosseted, entitled, safety conscious, smug, and Volvo’s as precursor to ‘driverless cars’. There is now proof positive that the mantle for obnoxious and dis-connected is now held by the drivers of Subaru Foresters.
Speaking at a testimonial launch the president of the Australian, Recreational Sports Enthusiasts, (ARSE) Mr Malcolm Co-Hoon, indicated with graph and pie chart the ascendancy of the Forester driver as the most obnoxious, and reviled on the roads. ‘The statistics are fascinating. At first what appeared as incidents in inner Melbourne soon grew to outlying areas, in which Subaru-ists were implicated in sightings, incidents and general impact as being of a special breed. Clearly we’ve been mis-led. We did have this other graph, (points to chart) where we believed Prius owners were top of the list, but clearly, as you can see from this graph, the Subaru Forester driver outpaces the Prius owner for aggravation’.
Natural Fibre. Source of energy for Subaru drivers can only be obtained from Sunday markets
Asked to elaborate, the president, equivocated; ‘Well, it’s startling but there’s an element of incidental truth in the observations submitted by readers. For a start we get this spike in incidents, outside Pilates studios, on weekends at fitness boot camp, outside Steiner schools on pick up, at Yoga centres on a weekday, and on Sunday markets, quite a few incidents of ‘Fibre Rage’. Fibre Rage we asked? ‘Yes that’s when two natural fibre wearing Forester drivers engage in heated argument over parking space at a Sunday market. This results in an altercation of sorts that is not resolved in the usual way, but requires on-going counselling, and mediation from a medium’. A medium? we asked. “ Yes a member of a mutually selected community resource group that resolves the issue in a non confrontational, nuanced series of contemporary dance moves. Which may require ongoing face painting, and Acapella.
It’s time consuming but all participants agree that they emerge nourished and fulfilled within themselves. We’re hoping to test it at the United Nations assembly when next it meets as a conflict resolution tool’. And do you think it will work?, ‘Yes indeed after the reconciliation, face painting, and Acapella the participants all remarked on how they felt’. And what was that?
“Nothing” .