Dear reader, implausibly, we return to our saga. A long running saga?

Yes indeed, but not quite as long as Amber versus Johnnie, or even as long as Prince Andrew, or for that matter most members of the Royal family who’ve been filling gossip pages for years. Do we need a Royal family? Of course we do, otherwise we’d have nothing to believe in, and in times of war nothing to  DIE FOR!!!

Chinless wonders did you say? 

Is That  a slur on a great German family who just happen to live at Buckingham Palace when it’s not Deer season, Grouse season, Fox season, Horse racing season, and Visiting Tin- Pot nations still beholden to the spurious notion of Commonwealth Season?

Commonwealth? You might also ask.

Yes that’s those nation states still quite happy to have their natural assets hived off by multi nationals for obscene profits and those same corporations who pay no tax. 

A rort? 

Is this GAS you’re talking about?

 

 

Not really just another example of the singular benefits of privatisation and the trickle down effect. And besides the Queen is 96, and there a swag of Australian Aged-Care providers who’ve got an eye on the family jewels. They could turn even Her Majesty’s frailty into a profit. It’s a rent seeking economy, and we’ve all got so much to gain from gas led recovery. Because at the end of the day it’ll be gas that fires up the crematoria. 

That’ll turn those tangible assets into carbon credits. 

Give credit where it’s due. But what of our heroes? There’s a long trudge to the Maralinga aerodrome terminal and whilst they walk, freed just for a few hours from Australia’s most powerfully well-connected influencers, Sophie and Dutto, they debate for the first time the benefits of a gas-led recovery. 

 

We return to our saga……….

‘I dunno’, Benny-Boy was waxing philosophical, ‘we’ve come all this way, and with my skill gained on active service in Afghanistan, and sometimes’, he paused; ‘I wonder what it’s all for’? 

This hesitation from Australia’s bravest and most decorated soldier, a hero to kiddies across Australia and a beacon for Boy Scouts, ‘School Cadets, ‘ Level crossing supervisors on what heights can be achieved by active service in civilising Savages came as a bit of a shock.

‘Whaddya mean Benny’? 

It was Ces who tried to mollify Benny-boys soul searching. A soldier who does soul-searching can be a dangerous thing as Ces had seen service in Vietnam, and decided way back then that it was best to just get on with the job. 

‘I dunno’! Benny sadly said, ‘It’s just that I’d been thinking’. 

‘Thinking’? quipped Quent; ‘aint that a bit of a liability for a soldier’?

‘Yeah, but nah, but yeah, I’ve been thinking about what the point of it all is. I mean apart from looking after your arses, now we’re up on top I wonder what my mission, what my purpose will be in ordinary life’? 

‘You call this ordinary’? quipped Terry.  Here we are pushed from arsehole to buggery and you’re wondering about ‘purpose ?

‘Yeah, Ces added, ‘I’m sure there’ll be another disaster round the corner, and look at it this way’ you’ve saved us time and again, you used to be our gaoler, and now you’re our saviour. How good is that’?

‘Yeah’, Benny replied distractedly, ‘I know all that, but I’m used to being in the field and this walking with you lot, excuse me for saying it, ordinary blokes, just reminds me of the transition I will have to make away from the excitement of blowing things up and rolling natives off cliffs. I mean excuse me for saying it, but there’s not as much excitement’. 

‘Don’t worry Benny, there’ll be plenty of excitement soon enough, but for the moment just relish the peace. Isn’t that what war is all about? To enjoy the peace’? 

‘Spose’, Benny replied mournfully, ‘it’s just that would you believe it? From war good can come!

‘What? 

What good ever came from war’? Ces expostulated

‘I dunno’ Benny replied, ‘Galipolli’?

‘Galipolli, it was a fucken disaster’!

‘Yeah but it taught us mateship’! 

‘Bollocks, it became a legend because from start to finish it was a fuck-up like the entire First World War, what did it ever achieve’? 

‘I dunno’, said Benny, ‘it gave a lot of blokes medals’.

‘What the,  whats the use of medals?

‘I dunno. ‘People like getting medals makes em feel useful’.

‘Tawdry trinkets, that’s all they are’.. 

‘What, are you saying my V.C is a tawdry trinket’? 

‘No I’m not saying that, you earnt yours fair and square for rolling wops off cliffs, but the other stuff like AO’s and that rubbish’! 

‘Yeah, Im talking about war medals, 

‘Yes but Benny wouldn’t it be better if we didn’t have wars on the first place’? 

Benny’s stunned silence came as a silence. 

He hadn’t thought of a world without war and you could tell, that for the bravest soldier it made him quietly fearful. Though distinguished and brave his inner fear was palpable.  We’d discovered Benny’s  human side. It was deeply touching. 

‘Well Benny don’t lose sight, cos look over there’. 

They were within a hundred yards, (we are thankful for the British Government in granting us the right to re-install imperial measurements) and sure enough behind the dilapidated terminal building stood a lone tank. It was an old Centurion tank left over for the fifties. You could hear the Morris flat four whirring away inside. If you didn’t know its the flat four as well as the twelve cylinder Meteor that operates the turret and the internals. And with barely a squawk, we noticed the turret turning, and the forlorn 105 mm gun point upwards, correct itself and then point straight towards us. 

‘Well Benny’, Terry said, ‘Your dreams have been answered I think we need your expertise’. 

And as though it never happened Benny’s worried face changed into a beaming grin, ‘Good-oh, we’re back in business’. 

What business? Will Benny lead our heroes to a Gas-Led Recovery?

Will it be funny business, or risky business?

Find out in our next gas-led sequel:  ‘Is that gas you’re emitting fully franked’? Or ‘gaslighting works well in non regulated environments like our Federal Parliament ’