Dear reader, recently we had the privilege of flying to an unknown destination, on an unfounded journey to an implausible end. Apart from being fascinated as to how “tight” seating is on planes these days we were fascinated to see that everything edible was covered in layers of plastic. It’s reassuring to know that by plane travel we are doing our bit to destroy the planet, but surely something must be done about needless packaging.
The following is a thoughtful suggestion. sent to the CEO of Qantas, Mr Joyce, It reads:
Dear Alan,
Before flight became dull, congested, and boring.
I am an infrequent flyer. As a consequence of this I feel it is my duty to offer you a couple of “thoughtful”, (perhaps even in this instance considered), suggestions which may improve the operating and service function of your fine aircraft.
It is obvious, that you have made remarkable progress in offering to your passengers food in cardboard containers. It is a great comfort to know that the food now resembles in every detail both the consistency and texture of the containers they are served in. This singularity of attention to detail must be applauded.
But, there is still more work that could be done to ensure that QANTAS, word renowned for safety is a leader in the sustainable delivery of in-flight refreshment.
These suggestions are made without prejudice, and it is anticipated that you will look upon them with an open mind and spirit of enthusiasm, which your airline is so readilly associated with.
When all the world was coloured soft pink
Drinks: Do drinks have to be served in plastic?
I remember fondly when I used to travel to Singapore in the Empire Class Flying Boat “ Cooee” and drinks were served in anodized aluminium beakers. These beautiful vesels were individualy designed and embossed with the QANTAS logo. Prized posessions for souvenir hunters and collectors alike. Couldn’t we celebrate this golden age of flying with a return to a more durable and re- usable alternative to common plastic?
Wine and beer could be served in glasses poured from casks, or Barrels?
Stylish, comfortable and exclusively snooty! Before the entire world and every international destination looked like CHADDY!
A flight attendant, acting as somelier on board could allow passengers to savour the delights of Australian wines and beer with samples and tasting as part of the in-flight experience. Rather than the rather tawdry descent into pathetic plastic miniatures of zero intrinsic value, local wines could be celebrated in a stunning visual display of label and local identity to ensure that the wine is more than just an afterthought.
The someliers job would be, (particularly on long haul flights) to wax lyrical about the regions , complexity and nuance of individual wines and prove once again Qantas’s committment to buidling the identity of regional varieties and develop an anticipation amongst frequent flyers that the voyage becomes an adventure rather than a hellish presentiment of three hundred peple imprisoned in a fart-filled cocoon of aluminium and plastic. Cigar smoking would be encouraged.
And finally, my fellow passengers wonder why you don’t offer the refreshment that comes without plastic, cardboard or advertising logos. FRESH FRUIT!
Is it too hard to ask for an apple?
A bunch of grapes?
JUST GAWK AT THE LEG ROOM!!
A banana?
Once again each variety is a endorsement of Australian agriculture. And a rebuttal to those individuals who might think that Australia is a personification of its political class. Shallow, insecure, xenephobic, racist, homophobic and reactive. And through the journey of “getting there” will appreciate that within the cliche’s, the stereotypes and the mainstream an essence of individuality and optimism burns so brightly.
I urge you to consider these suggestions in good faith.
Cheers