This bloke comes highly reccommended to chair the ABC
One of the problems of being almost the only surviving fully independent media organisation in the country is that people come to us, as in a swarm, offerring us advice, pointers, insghts and suggestions. It’s a problem just responding to all the letters. Our internet thingy gets chocka block full of videos, emails and emojis sent to us, as a sort of journalistic benediction. They have faith in our objectivity. And we must admit, at times, the load seems crushing.
WE’ve lost count of how many times we’ve been told to reject this individuals application.
However, since Mrs Crinklade’s elevation to the toppest tiers of the Murdoch organisation, (she was headhunted) things have changed. Only she, (who has a diagnosed memory impairment and ethics disorder), was chosen. WE only gave her the job cos Centrelink said they’d cover the cost of her theft and mendacity condition. And to be fair she settled in well in the footy tipping, though things started to go missing. But Centrelink would never get back to us on the payments we were to receive, the training, assistance or anything. WE felt left out. We felt almost biblical. Yet through our rejection we also felt a manifest sense of exceptionalism. We danced for joy at being SHUNNED!!
Still, this individual demonstrates clear tenacity under fire.
And in our isolated exceptionalism, we laughed as Mulva, (for that is Miss Krinklade’s Christian name) sent us postcards, and twitter feeds of her new life with the Murdoch Empire. At first it was not easy supressing the pangs of jealousy, as she showed us images of her with Theresa May at Chequers, of Donald Trump at his resort golf course, and Scott Morrison, in a workers hat, looking serious. WE thought we’d keep track of Mulva’s travels just to see in graphic form her extraordinary diary of travel and high level meetings. And after we’d put coloured string to all the pins stuck in a map of the world we could see that all the english speaking democracies were in the thrall of their leader Lord Murdoch, and strangely we felt a chill. Because underneath the spaghetti like tendrils we knew that any notion of good governance may be under review.
Such was the scale of Murdoch’s tentacles of inlfluence, and such the weight upon Mulva to be a high achiever.
On second thoughts….Can’t underestimate the stature of a bloke who wears a big hat!
“Good thing we’re non achievers’, Clarrie said, and we all heartilly agreed. And yet in spite of our obscurity, in spite of our lowliness and in spite of our abject poverty, we were heartened to hear, via crystal set a faint morse signal. WE yet, might still be able to perform our duties from the outside.
Within seconds Maltravers had decoded it on his army disposal Enigma machine, and deciphered it.
The message read: ‘Have found new chairman of ABC. Stop.
Proceeed with operation Whitewash. Stop
Destroy all malcontents. Stop
Total Ultimo. Stop
Stop when I say STOP’!
WE were aghast. What could this mean? Could this be a slur on the very thorough root and branch investigation of malfeasance, conflict of interest and base politics being conducted by our Communications Minister. Surely we should wait on the findings before embarking on action.
Or a helmet. Useful for those feisty board meetings.
But the code spelt it plain and simple. ‘Total Ultimo’. That could mean only one thing. Ultimo had been targeted for re-assignment, and we knew what that meant. Within the organisation the cogs were whirring to select a replacement CEO. And the man pulling the levers, adjusting the knobs and dials was none other than Rupert, Lord of Murdoch, the supreme being. And we all breathed a sigh of relief.
Why you may ask? Because in the corridors of power and its mouthpiece the ABC it signalled “Business as Usual’.
And we. Once again..
Might be RELEVANT!