Even the poor people from Rio were excluded from the Olympics. An example of “Rio-politic”
The bitter truth. Titty Killer. Australia’s Chef de mission brown, portrays a stiff upper whilst proudly wearing 1970’s Ansett ANA cabin crew livery as an ‘act of contrition for our miserable result’
Latest news from the Olympics is grim. No reader, it is not the obscenity of quarantining the locals the majority of whom are dirt poor to cater for a rump of plutocrats. Nor is it the yawning inequity between wealthy and poor countries encouraged to participate so that they, (the poor) may drink full the elixir of losing. Nor, and this should come as no surprise, is it the obscene levels of advertising and sponsorship that hijacks sport from the ordinary people. Nor is it the professionalism of the vast majority of athletes, who condescend to give the “ amateur spirit “ of the games some finesse. No, it’s much more profound than all that, more profound than the bad behaviour from spoilt coiffured kiddies from white nations. More egregious than the complaints we all had to take that everything about Rio was just so ‘third world’, and how we all breathe a sigh of relief to know that Tokyo will be absolutely efficient and clean. Beyond all of that, the doping, the feather bedding off IOC officials who really did their best not to look to bejeweled, nor the enormity of the Australian team, that is forever a potent symbol of national insecurity the world over. None of those things. The reality is we came tenth.
We were clearly out-spent. The poms came second, they have a lottery fund, a percentage of which is actively channelled into sport. We have lottery, but all the profits go to a family syndicate, and they spend it on …. Themselves. The yanks have just too much money, and their universities are geared to this kind a thing. And the Russians and Chinese, even, when they’re not doping are leaps and bounds ahead of the pack. We came tenth, behind, Italy and Hungary. Even the frogs bested us, and to top it all off we lost a three straight test whitewash against the Sri Lankans.
John Wylie. Happy at exclusivist venues and ticketing; ‘This way you get an entire venue to yourself without having to deal with the filthy public”
John Coates, Welded on part of the Aussie (battler) Olympic Gravy Train. ” Better gravy will be on hand in Tokyo”.
No wonder the Barrier Reef is dead, it’s a national trend, It’s what happens when you become the real estate capital of the universe. You lose. It distracts you from things that really matter like winning medals. And I can tell you, heads will roll. According to Mr Coates, former head of the Australian Olympic Committee, who has been paid over seven million this past decade for giving advice, it’s the fault of Mr Wylie. His winners edge system is broke, and according to my Wylie, its all because sneaky nations, like the poms have grabbed our best coaches, and copied our training regimes. Mr Wylie has put businessmen in charge, and it aint working. Fancy that! A merchant banker not knowing everything there is to know on sport, art, literature, the list goes on and on. It aint fair.
According to the public the Olympics are dead boring. Not much fun, when you’re no good at swimming, and having to rely on pentathlons, and clay pigeon shooting for your gold. They’re not everyday reflections on the aussie spirit.
Aussie Sports Scientists, (only branch of national science to have increased funding) marvel at results coming in from the Gallipolo-ometer. A world First.
To help gauge our lack of Olympic grade performance, we’ve commissioned, top scientists and they’ve come up with the Gallipolo-ometer, a device proven to assist in determining national characteristics. The Gallipolo-ometer, gave a reading of 87.5, which is incredibly high. High enough we gauged to make the team a legend. So many “could’ve beens and near misses’. If we’d won more medals and came in at fifth or sixth, the Gallipolo-ometer would’ve rated a bare fifty. But losing is knowing that were really great. And that’s special, as it goes to the core of our national ethos. Occasional winners, and terrible losers.