Dear reader, we let up where we left off, with us caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. Without Prince Andrew we were beyond the point of despair. Could things get any grimmer? Read on, and recognise the sacrifice that went into making this instalment palpable on We Chat, Weibo, Huawei, Twitter, Morse and cuneiform B.
Ces was agitated; ‘Does that also include the end of western hegemony’?
‘Does that include beyond Sports-bet and pay-day lending the coverage of the first test at the Adelaide Oval’? ( Ces was worried about the other foundation plank of Australian national character)
Prince Andrew. Grown men wince under his firm handshake
‘Fraid so’.
‘Well then Si, whichever way you look at it, if you can’t beat em join em’.
The Minister became animated; ‘But by joining we’ll lose our identity, and just become prawns in an international intrigue. A Chinese government emboldened by supine acquiescence would stop at nothing. Importations of leaf blowers would cease. Bunnings would be devoid of product and two dollar shops across this land would close. Can you see the ramifications? Doctored photographs questioning the unassailable purity of Anzackery would be freely distributed bringing SHAME and RIDICULE to the core of our sense of self. We’d find ourselves at war with the image of ourselves, and subsequently begin to question the entire panoply of the white-bread processed sepulchre of eternal Anzackery and the accepted version of Australian history as FACT’.
‘Could be worse’, Ces proffered, ‘we could be koalas in a climate denying Federal Government’.
‘You’ve gotta point there’.
Harry Morant, in whose name we celebrate a noble tradition.
‘But I have a funny feeling, (this was Ces at his most incisive), no matter how highly credentialed Prince Andrew is, I never thought he was the man for the job. If Prince Andrew is the MAIN GAME, the politburo have got it all over us. Was he ever a real solution? And was he EVER strong enough? And at the end of the day, does he really represent ‘US’?
‘I mean he’s got experience, and he’s popular amongst the highest of the high, but he’s susceptible to external influences. The Chinese have many way of inveigling the unwary. Look what happened to Andrew Robb. Lost his way entirely, but did a great deal on the port of Darwin. So it aint all bad, and from what we heard he was a shoe-in for the board of Crown. Yep, high end executives with principle are hard to find.
And besides any further scandal that an evil power used to inveigle a high placed royal would further damage the image of royal family. They cannot afford to lose any more public recognition after Harry and Megan did a bunk. Though Prince Andrew has his hands over every sensitive issue, its not fair to put him in this invidious position. They might do a Mountbatten on him or even worse a Princess Di. They are ruthless! ‘What? the Queen and Phil’?
Politburo training agents in semaphore to thwart ‘Five Eyes’.
‘No the politburo. Under the Belt and Road. They’ll stop at NOTHING’!
‘What are we gonna do ?
Who can make this evil go away, play dirty and take advantage of the situation how ever dire, and come up spotless, with their integrity intact’. ?
We’d reached a dead end. AGAIN.
The Minister was philosophically turning over the scenario in his head and talked aloud; ‘No solution, and no hope to stop the whole of western society and Australia from being taken over, and the risk that doctored photos of our glorious troops could sap the will of the Australian people to defend the beaches, the Vip lounges at airports and the bag-men who collect funds from Chinese Government officials to fund the major parties’.
What we need is power. We need to reverse the influence, and send the virus and those who spread it into oblivion. We need the power of a hundred suns, or the world’s biggest coal fired power plant.
If only we had the power, the raw power, the source of energy.
A man who could survive any scandal.
A man who could twist any logic…. And prevail’…
We were stumped, who could cross both sides of the fence, have impeccable credentials, but yet, remain, how to put it delicately… Dodgy?
Just then, the phone went.
Dan uses his “little grey book” to communicate directly with Beijing.
‘Should I pick it up’? Ces asked, ‘China could already have us bugged’.
The Minister dryly remarked, ‘what’s the point’? Since Alexander left for the U.K posting, everything ‘s bugged’.
‘I dunno, could be the P.M, or perhaps the Palace’?
Ces picked it up
“er…… think tank’, he looked to us awkwardly.
And then he smiled…
“Who is it’?
Ces turned to us, beaming, ‘it’s our man of the hour, he’s answered the call , to save us all, and keep the reputation of HRH Prince Andrew intact. This bloke makes teflon look like sandpaper. Nothing sticks to him’.
Who could it be?
But it was answered for us.
‘No worries Angus. In the park, outside the adventure playground’.
Cheers
Who could be the all powerful individual who calls himself Angus and does not stick? Find out in our next non- adhesive episode,
” Is that a fortune cookie in your pocket” or “Peking duct with extra sauce’.