Peter Dutton, Wants to ensure that foreigners who wish to come here speak grouse English.

We at pcbycp would like to offer some advice to the current debate on the Citizenship Bill. We don’t think it goes far enough.

Cultural icon supports good educashion and sport.

For a start we don’t like the proposed five years probation period. We agree that one year is way way too short to discover people’s wicked tendencies. We’ve noticed at pcbycp that some people have un-Australian thoughts after decades. And in one case a family we know, (we have alerted authorities) has been involved in anti social tendencies for almost a century. Pacifists, pinko’s and trouble makers. And the worst thing is, they don’t even follow sport. If you asked them what the first eleven was? they’d look bleary eyed, and say words to the effect of; ‘all the others penultimate to the last disciple’. They’re that disconnected to what makes Australia Great.

And you can’t deport them either. Peter Dutton wants to set a cutoff point for migrants to make it easier to send em back, and he also wants to make the Minister’s decision final. So even if a poor benighted refugee gets through all the legal hurdles he can still get kicked out on the Minister’s whim. A good thing too.

In the olden days quite a few people came to this country who were ILLITERATE! Bad news for Call centres and Bum wipers in aged care facilities.

And then the Minister reckons, (quite sensibly we should add) that we need an English test. WE cant stand free loading, illegal boat people, or any would be supposed humanitarian migrant coming here without a decent grasp of the Queen’s English. All these terrorists, are poor spellers, and it’s reasonable to assume that other poor bastards aren’t all that flash on the finer points of English expression. It makes em anti social. And before you know they’re in a ghetto wanting to blow things up. How then fer chrissakes can they ever get a job as a call centre operator, or a bum wiper in one of our special care facilities? You’ve gotta have basic English for that. And forget about a skilled higher level job like working as the attendant at Macca’s or Kentucky Fried, You’ve gotta be qualified for that!

And though our forebears, whether they came from an Irish bog, a lowland slum, or one of the less salubrious parts of Eastcheap couldn’t read, write or even spell their own fucking name, we’ve got a perfect right to stop other ill educated bastards from coming here. Why? Cos we’ve gotta be even handed. We would’ve had a ‘look funny” test but it’d be discriminatory. This way we get to stream the migrants and ensure that only the most literate can find a job here. But we don’t want em too clever. Clever migrants end up being trouble-makers.

Tony Abbott. Ten pound pom made good in English Expression and Oratory.  Invented the three word slogan.

That’s how we keep Australian pure from the taint of TROUBLEMAKER. They may not look like Chesty Bond, but at least they’ll be able to talk, read and write proper English. And with a bit of luck they’ll know what Bradman’s batting average was, and the names of all members of the First Eleven.

Which is more than we can say for our goofy mate. He’s a sixth generation Australian, and he knows fuck all! WE can do better than six pound poms either. Just ask Tony Abbott.