Dear reader, as you have doubtlessly been following our splendid exploits with the SAS on the foreign fields of valour, you will be shocked by the excoriating details of alleged atrocities. 

For us, ex members of the RAR 21/22 nd battalion AIF, (Australian Imperial Forces) who take great pride in our mission to civilise the savage masses of humanity who eschew pay day lending, 24/7 shopping and Sports-Bet, this comes as an affront to every serving member of his Majesty’s forces. 

This is a DISGRACE

Australia has a clear history of honourable conflict.

Is this the ADF’s Conniston Moment? 

This is worse than anything Breaker Morant did, and we have it on good authority that Breakers lawyer, Jack Thompson, living legend and heart throb for the over 60’s would be buggered trying to help these blokes. Blokes, who like our cricketers are alleged to have gone a little bit too far. 

As Don said; “sometimes you have to use a cricket bat to swat a fly. Just make sure it’s a pommy fly, and the grace of God and wellbeing of the Australian people will be with you’. So whilst we wait for the court enquiries, the sentencing and the prison terms for not playing by the rule book, (Mallory’s Morte d Arthur) we would like to make one humble suggestion that puts the shame into a correct light. 

The soldiers in the field in Afghanistan, were not Australian soldiers, 

As Clausewitz famously said, “on the field a unit, a platoon, and entire division is identified by the flag they carry into battle’. Precisely! Those who committed atrocities were not working for the Australian Government, and therefore are nor responsible to Australian law. 

The photographs reveal the fallacy behind prosecution. Just as Trump lies besieged by the forces of truth in the White House, so these brave men should not be tried under Australian law. 

For example, this image take in Something or other province, clearly shows troops performing the sacred right to civilise savages under the flag of the Third Reich. Now apart for the odd atrocity, the Third Reich did produce crack troops. It suggests that the demise of the Third Reich is an unsubstantiated rumour. And as the image shows, these troops are very much acting under the authority of a Fuehrer. Perhaps its an identification of Australia’s lurch to the right. Either way, these are not Australian soldiers. 

The next image shows troops, allegedly American and Australians fighting under the banner of Shutzstaffel, colloquially known as the ‘SS’. We believe their leader is Heinrich Himmler who was alleged to have died in 1945.  Clearly his ethos  and command is still with troops invested in the sacred rite of civilising. Himmler’s obsession was with cleansing the east, so the middle east is not far off the mark..

This  next picture proves that the Confederacy is not dead. Jefferson Davis has reputedly been dead a long while, but it seems fair to assume that his spirit is definitely with us. 

So let’s hold the Confederacy to account, the SS and the Third Reich.  Once again those rotten Nazis have abused the fair and upstanding rules of war. They’ve rubbished the ethos to ‘play up, play up and pay the game’. 

In the international spirit of cricket, those bad- ass Nazis and Confederates have used the Sandpaper. 

We must ask ourselves can we ever recover from their shame?

Rather that,  than ask the harder question as any politician won’t tell you, the reason why the were there in the first place.