Again, a scintillating piece from ‘Paddi-O’ in which he takes the scalpel to the latest thought bubble from Malcolm, (the rich) Abbott.
(Ed).. So glad we could have another crack at the fat controller. Working on a close up for the sight deficient in which we see the febrile mind of Malcolm Abbott, our P.M for lots and lots of ideas having a big think about railways!!
‘Very fast cash Blink and you’ll miss it.
Dear reader, we are shocked that in this poster depicting the benefits of the latest piece of innovative thinking, the P.M’s department for IB”s, (Ideas Boom) has got the Spelling of Sydney wrong. Carelessness such as this will be the end of this country.
The promise of a very fast train, not the train itself, that is rarer than the Tasmanian Tiger. Not that politicians have noticed. In the dying days of the second Rudd government before the glorious dawn of the Abbott government, Kevin flanked by Anthony Albanese promised a Very Fast Train to link Melbourne to Brisbane in three hours. On election the cash set aside for yet another feasibility study was a victim of the yet to be passed first budget of the Abbott-Hockey era of sound economic management. Now in the era of living within our means, that all wise usurper of the popularly elected but proven by Newspoll (who needs an election?) Tony Abbott, he of the harbour-side mansion and user of ferries and trams, Malcolm Turnbull, has donned his Armani Hi Vis Vest and helmet to proclaim a (wait for it) Very Fast Train.
Remarkably this wondrous merchant banker (rhymes with?) has worked out a way for his VFT to pay for itself. Appearing somewhere Industrial in a marginal electorate, as part of his not in the election period taxpayer funded advertising of an infrastructure agenda for shoring up such marginal seats, he explained with only a sneer of condescension that the principal of ‘Captured Value’ would meet the costs.
Malcolm, doing his best to assume the posture of the Fat Controller of the nation’s Hornby Model Train set, went on to add a layer of creamy condensed condescension to say that this was not a new idea, indeed it was a well-established old nineteenth century idea that built, wait for it, railways.
ONYA HENRY!!
Henry was a leader, innovator, thinker, who popularised the use of cigars way way way before Bill Clinton did.
Now I try to travel on one such railway at least three times a week. Not like Malcolm, to prove myself a lover of public transport or a man of the people, and not even on public transport. I travel on my bike. What is left of the reserve for Melbourne’s old inner circle railway line, a speculation at the height of the Land Boom of the 1880s which finally spluttered to a close in 1948, is now a very busy bike path. Its promoters probably saw rich profits in serving growing suburbs and for the first few years creamed those off, until unprofitable, it became a public liability. The collapse of the Land Boom actually reinforced the principal of Captured Value. Henry George, the American born proponent of a single tax on land, developed his theory by observing the massive profits made by Railway Barons in America, and for years the Henry George League office on Hardware Lane sported fading pamphlets in a dusty window. Now the legacy of the League is under the care of a fringe group called Prosper Australia and judging by the heavily contested Wikipedia entry this organisation spends a lot of time disassociating itself from even crazier associations. In the words of Henry George’s biographer: “His central ideas of the ‘unearned increment’ and single tax are now historical curiosities.”
Leaving aside the awe inspiring possibility that Malcolm the Rich might be a closet Georgist, there is a fatal flaw in his Captured Value argument for a Very Fast Train. To make it work, the government would need to tax increasing land values of places serviced by the train. For its current ardent backbench advocate, member for Bennelong and former tennis champion John Alexander, the prospect of a quick trip to work will open new housing estates in areas currently far, far away. It’s good he could play tennis well, because no one will remember him as an economist or a railway planner.
NEW IDEAS BOOM Signage at North Melbourne Station.
Surely the critical thing for a Very Fast Train is that it doesn’t stop too many times. On occasion I do travel on a Very Fast Train, except it is usually late. Flush with unlikely success, Steve Bracks, slayer of Jeff Kennett, found himself responsible for implementing policies including fast rail links to Geelong, Ballarat and Bendigo. With fanfare and panache new trains appeared old lines were refurbished and under his successor John Brumby, a bottleneck at North Melbourne Station was artfully overcome with a curving overpass.
Soon to be released!!! FAT CONTROLLER with BONUS THOUGHT BUBBLE!! ( Sales restricted to children over 3 years old, as thought bubble if swallowed may result in choking)
Promises filled you might say, well not quite. Value management meetings designed to keep the project budget marginally under control made cuts. Tracks were welded in longer lengths, perfect for cooler, stable climates, but doomed to buckle in moderate heat of 30 degrees, and the curving overpass curved too tight, wearing the wheels on the new trains at an alarming rate meaning more were out of service than in. As a result I often meander at a cycling pace along the tracks to Castlemaine and past Clarkefield, another reminder of Value Capture. When Sir William Clarke (Bart) saw the opportunity he ensured the line to Bendigo would pass his front gate and have its own siding, now a station. Sadly for the workers and residents of Whyalla and the increasingly marginal Minister for Industry, the Hon. Christopher Pyne, the Very Fast Train will not result in orders for Aussie Steel Railway tracks any time soon, and fortunately for my health I will stick to the bike’.