from
The Office of The Rt Hon Michael Ronaldson
Minister for Veterans Affairs
Canberra ACT
To
Grant O’Brien
Managing Director and Chief Executive
Woolworth’s Pty Ltd
Melbourne
Re: The Promotion of Little Digger brand Toilet Paper
Dear Mr O’Brien,
The Federal Government has been thrilled with your enthusiastic response to the Anzac Centenary Celebrations, and I would like to personally thank you as Minister for your generous contribution to the Aussie ‘Little Hero’ award scheme. This year’s recipient, Tyson Dyson was warmly congratulated for his inspirational essay, “Me and me mates, a Nation born at Gallipoli”. Copies of this essay will be distributed to all families in Australia and with the fridge magnet will do much to ensure the Anzac legend lives on.
Your corporation’s generous donation of ten million dollars to the federal party will go to ensure that one very needy child at the neonatal unit at the Nauru Detention Centre, or one of those living in remote communities, will be equipped with your superb book, ‘V.C Heroes’, and will be in the running for the Home brand Anzac colouring competition first prize, a trip to Gallipoli, and all expenses paid tour of our recent victorious campaigns in Afghanistan and Iraq.
It is with this in mind that I congratulate you on your decision to recall from sale the Anzac toilet roll, and Dardanelles brand of feminine hygiene products in favour of the re-badged Little Digger toiletries. We believe that an association intended or otherwise between products geared specifically for Women and Anzac was inappropriate. We would also like to suggest that your product line Anzac Bitter, Anzac Lager, and the discount priced Anzac Cove cigarette packs were promoted and sold in poor taste, as the consumption of these products precluded sale to minors. We at the Federal Government want to ensure that the spirit of Anzac is an entirely family event in keeping with the sacrifice endured by Australian men to make this country safe. Lest we forget.
Sadly I must also inform you that the Federal Government, although not disagreeing in principle to the spirit of the advertising campaign, would like the following products withdrawn from sale. Anzac Brand BBQ lighters, Anzac branded footballs, Little Digger coloured dice, and John E Turk Corned Beef, as they are currently licensed to the AFL, who will be promoting them over the Anzac day weekend with a display match between Essendon and Collingwood. We also ask you to withdraw the brand, John E Turk, and Abdul falafel wraps from the shelves as we have received complaints from the Turkish embassy that such nicknames are copyright controlled by the Ataturk, (licensed to Coca Cola) soft drink company.
I commend you for your enthusiasm in putting Anzac onto the shelves of your supermarkets across Australia so that ordinary working families will know the Anzac legend. I would also like to remind you that your maternity products, “Birth of a Nation” though worthy have caused quite a ruction at the RSL. It’s not the principle that’s at stake, but the brands, ‘No mans’, ‘Western Front’, and ‘Thin Red Line’ are currently licensed to the Disney Corporation in the development of their new holiday theme park ‘Anzac-land’, due to be opened at the Gold Coast in 2017. Use of these brands is in breach of the licensing agreement made between the two parties, and subject to action from the Department of Consumer Affairs.
We wish you all the best in your new campaign for 2016-17 to commemorate the lesser known campaigns on the Western front, and wish you all the best with your ‘Passion-dale “range of cosmetries, and ‘Ypres’ home cleaning products.
Yours Sincerely
Michael.